Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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