I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
