why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
