Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
