That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
