Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
