i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
