john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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