I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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