Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
