puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable