Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
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mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
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When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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