I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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