filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
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We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
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I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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