Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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