are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
And then he peed in my hair
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
