fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?