I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking