My sheets look like a crime scene.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!