I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
