I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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