So drunk its hurt
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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