and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
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There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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