just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
