did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
