If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
