i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
