it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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