My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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