In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
