I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize