I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
