This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
