i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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