I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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