Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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