you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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