Whats the glycemic index on semen?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
