it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
