It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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