8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
