the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize