The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
