There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm sobbing to NWA
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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