she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
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Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
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My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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