totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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