I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
