I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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