i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
