It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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