Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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