I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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