One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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