I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
