I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
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It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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