you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i am craving dick and cupcakes
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
