I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
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The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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