Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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