dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
